A survey from HelloFresh of over a thousand adults, 485 men and 522 women, researchers found that 56 percent of Americans find cooking therapeutic. It doesn’t really matter how you do it: simple or complicated, grilled cheese or filet mignon, just being the kitchen is calming. It’s like taking a bubble bath without getting wet. And we all know b*tches hate getting wet.

Doing something with your hands. You’re creating something. You’re putting on your favorite tunes, firing up the stove and letting your worries melt away. It’s really f*cking chill. And YOU GET TO EAT AFTERWARDS. The findings from the survey also note that “about 30 percent of Americans say cooking an enjoyable meal is more satisfying than sex and almost one-quarter cook to seduce a companion.” So if you cook with BAE, it’s even BETTER.

Cooking is as sexy as it is practical. I think we can all agree that a person who can cook straight-up gets about five points on the hotness scale. Big dick and skilling in the kitchen, I always say. And by “always,” I mean I literally just said that right now. But I digress. Couples who cook together stay together. Give me a man who can cook me a steak dinner, and the panties are coming off. And I know you b*tches agree with me. When I asked my girlfriends to give me the top five skills their ideal man would have, literally every single one of them named cooking among them.

Studies have shown that people who spend money on experiences are happier than those who spend it on things. So if you can travel with your partner and collect memories together, you’re on the right track for a long-lasting romance. An essential ingredient in any relationship is communication. You have to talk to each other, face-to-face to nurture pair bonding and work through your problems. Research from the Gottman Institute suggests that couples that communicate poorly are virtually doomed to breakup. If you’re not talking to each other, you’re f*cked.

If you’re trying to get some ass, I’d definitely suggest starting in the kitchen. If your partner sees you cooking, that’s going to make them want to f*ck you. Why? For two reasons: The way to any person’s heart is through the stomach, and cooking shows you care.

If you feed someone AND show him or her how much you are AT THE SAME TIME, what could that lead to other than sex? Nothing, that’s what.

 Additionally, the survey found that 15 percent of Americans admit to cooking in the nude. Y’all know I’m big on cooking in the nude. Except for bacon because no one wants grease flying at her va-jay-jay. *shudders*