by Elijah Mutabuza Ssalongo
So, youâ€™ve met a cool guy who asked you out.Â Exciting? Totally. A little nerve-wracking? Absolutely. So, whatâ€™s a girl to do to lessen the nerves that inevitably come with first-date territory? We all could use some advice in this department.
As clichÃ© as it sounds, being yourself is probably the best way to ensure you not only have a good time on a first date, but also get a second date, too.
That said, there are a few dos and donâ€™ts to keep in mind when hanging out with someone totally newâ€”Â remember, itâ€™s all aboutÂ makingÂ a solid first impression. Read on for 12 first date dos and donâ€™ts that every girl should know!
DONâ€™T wear things that you canâ€™t walk, eat,Â breathe, or talk in.
Obviously, you want to look your best, but a first date isnâ€™t the time to take those new 5-inch stilettos out for a road test, or wear that dress thatâ€™s a little too tight. Why? Because first dates are anxiety-filled enough and being uncomfortable in your clothes only makes it worse. Plus, wonâ€™t it suck to not be able to walk a few blocks on a nice night because your heels are too high? Instead, wear things you know look good on you but wonâ€™t hinder you from being cool, calm, and collected.
DO speak up.
Nobody likes a pushover, so if your date tells you heâ€™s planned an evening at a sushi restaurant and you donâ€™t eat fish, or he wants to hang at a cocktail lounge but you donâ€™t drink, speak up. Itâ€™ll only look strange if you tell him all that after youâ€™re already seated and waiting to order. Same goes for being decisive. If he asks what youâ€™d like to eat, drink, or share for dessert, donâ€™t say â€œI donâ€™t care, what do you want?â€ Wishy-washy can get real old, real fast.
DONâ€™TÂ mention other guys.
Want to know a surefire way to not get asked out again? Maniacally mention your ex-boyfriend, your dating history, or the laundry list of guys lining upÂ aroundÂ the block to date you. If you get the urge, step up your game and act your age. Try this instead: Highlight some recent achievements that are about you.Â Heâ€™ll be way moreÂ impressedÂ that way.
DO be on time.
Yeah, we know the whole fashionably late ideology still exists, but on a first date, youâ€™ll make a better impression if you show up on time. Would you want him to show up late? Probably not. Whatâ€™s that? It takes you two hours to do your hair? Sounds like youâ€™re perfectly aware of that fact, which means youâ€™ll know exactly how much time you need to prepare ahead of time, even if itâ€™s five hours (hey, we donâ€™t judge.)
4. DO eat.
Most guys will freely tell you that thereâ€™s nothing more clichÃ© (read: boring) than a girl who doesnâ€™t eat on a date. If you think not ordering dinner will make you appear skinnier, prettier, more feminine, or more mysterious, guess what? It wonâ€™t. What it will do?Â ProbablyÂ make your dude a little uncomfortable.
In fact, we asked a guy what he thought of girls who donâ€™t eat on dates and he said: â€œThereâ€™s nothing more refreshing than a girl who actually wants to eat on a date. Weâ€™re not saying she needs to house four whole chicken, but we want girls to be comfortable when theyâ€™re out with us, and nothing says theyâ€™re uncomfortable and uptight more than not eating!â€ Got that, ladies?
5.Â DONâ€™T drink too much.
Thereâ€™s not much to say here without sounding like a preachy parent, but keep this in mind: Having to be carried home by a guy you barely know isnâ€™t chic (nor is slurring your words, doingÂ somethingÂ you regret, orÂ crying at the dinner table.) Sure, a cocktail or two can be fun and loosen the mood, but knowing your limits will help make a better first impression.
DONâ€™TÂ be obsessed with your appearance.
Who wants to waste precious date time running to bathroom to brush your hair, reapply yourÂ lipstick, or check the mirror every five minutes?Â Put as much effort into your appearance as you wantÂ beforeÂ you meet your date, but focus your energy on making solid conversation instead of worrying about how you look. Not to stereotype, but odds are he probably wonâ€™t notice that last swipe of lip gloss you just applied, anyway.
DO put your phone away.
This is the big one, ladies: The act of obsessively checking your phone every two minutes could be a bonafide deal breaker. Thereâ€™s nothing ruder than trying to have a conversation with a person whoâ€™s constantly stating at their screensâ€”wouldnâ€™t you be put off if he were paying more attention to his iPhone than to you?
Checking Instagram and Whatsapp can wait. No, it canâ€™t? Then youâ€™reÂ probablyÂ not ready to have aÂ relationshipÂ with an actual human justÂ yet. Similarly, do not post any status updates, tweet about your date in real time, or snap any candid pics when heâ€™s not looking. Thatâ€™s justÂ weird.
DOÂ ask questions.
A foolproof way to ensure that conversationÂ will always be flowing is to simply ask questions. Keep them semi-general: Ask about work, his family, his hobbies, pop culture, his favorite music. Four things to not ask him about? Politics, religion, his exes, and how much cash he pulls in.
DO be real â€¦ to a point.
Weâ€™d advise against spilling personal details that he really doesnâ€™t need to know on the very first date (your parentsâ€™ messy divorce, your chronic stomachaches, your huge fight with your best friend),Â but donâ€™t be afraid to let him see your personality. ObsessedÂ with bad TV? Tell him about it! Obsessed with planning your wedding, or the fact that youâ€™re only meeting losers on dating sites? Keep it to yourself. He doesnâ€™t need to know every innermost thought and feeling yet.
11. DO offer to pay.
A tactful way to do this is to simply reach for the check when it comes. If he insists, offer to split the bill, or at least leave the tip. Heâ€™ll probably decline, so make sure you offer to get the cab to the nextÂ destination, the movie tickets, or a round of drinks. However, if you offer to pay or split, be prepared to actually pay or split. Donâ€™t play games.Â Not offering, however, could translate to entitled.
12. DONâ€™TÂ stalk him via text after the date.
In todayâ€™s world, texting is a viable means of communication after a date, but there are a few rules we all should follow.Â If you had a wonderful time and feel like shooting him a casual text later thatÂ nightÂ or the next day, go for it.
there you will be good for a first time date!